Why the moments you share matter more than the gifts you give

Every year, especially around Christmas or birthdays, I see videos online where parents ask their children what they received the year before. And very often, the children don’t really remember. They hesitate, think for a moment, or guess. But when those same children are asked about moments they experienced with their family, the answers come almost instantly. That contrast always stays with me, because it says so much about what truly matters to them.

Of course, children enjoy receiving gifts. The excitement, the unwrapping, the surprise, all of that is part of the joy. But what stays with them much longer are the moments they shared with the people they love. I see this so clearly with my own children. My four-year-old keeps asking when we will go swimming again, not because of something he got that day, but because he loved being there together with his grandparents and his cousins. That experience made an impression on him. When I asked my daughter what she enjoyed most about Christmas, her answer wasn’t a toy or a present either. What she remembered most was seeing all her cousins together again and spending time as a family.

It made me realize how little children actually care about the things we often stress over. As parents, we sometimes feel pressure to do more, to buy more, plan more, organize more. We want to give them everything. But children don’t measure love in gifts or activities. They feel it in attention, in presence, in knowing that someone truly sees them.

And those meaningful moments don’t have to be big or special. Often, they happen in the smallest, most ordinary situations. Cooking together, playing a simple game, or just sitting next to each other. My two-year-old already finds joy in simply being close to me while I’m cooking. He doesn’t need entertainment or perfection. Being together is enough.

That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Life can be busy and overwhelming. There’s work, school, appointments, responsibilities, and everything else that fills our days. It’s tempting to rush through things, to move quickly from one task to the next. I catch myself doing that too. But I try to remind myself to slow down when I can, to be a little more present, and to really take in those small moments, even when the day feels chaotic.

Because in the end, our children may not remember every gift they received, but they will remember how they felt with us. They will remember feeling safe, loved, and seen. And often, it’s the quiet, ordinary moments that leave the deepest impression of all.