Before I became a mother, I was a very different person. Life felt lighter back then. I went out often, thought less about tomorrow, and rarely felt the need to slow down. I didn’t overthink things, didn’t plan far ahead, and had the freedom to simply go with the flow.

Then I became a mother and slowly, everything shifted.

At first, my whole world revolved around my child. Every decision, every thought, every feeling seemed connected to being a mother. I pushed myself aside without even noticing it. Whenever I did something for myself, guilt followed. If I wasn’t home, I wanted to go back as quickly as possible. Even when I tried to relax, my mind was never fully at ease. The mom guilt was always there, quietly present in the background.

For a long time, I believed that this was what being a good mother meant: giving everything, all the time, without question.

Life looks very different now.

After a full day of work, children, and responsibilities, I’m tired, not just physically, but mentally. When evening comes, I no longer crave busy plans or late nights. Most days, I feel most at peace when I can go to bed early, knowing the day is done and tomorrow will bring the same familiar rhythm. And for a long time, I struggled with that version of myself.

Because sometimes, I still miss who I used to be.

I miss the ease.
The energy.
The version of me that could go out without thinking twice.

And for a while, I felt guilty about missing that life. As if missing it meant I wasn’t grateful enough for the one I have now. But I’ve learned that both can exist at the same time. I can love my life as a mother and still miss parts of who I once was. Those feelings don’t cancel each other out.

Motherhood changed me deeply. It made me more tired, yes, but also more aware. More grounded. More in tune with what truly matters. I began to understand that constantly giving without ever recharging slowly empties you. And that taking care of myself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

I still find it difficult sometimes. I still rush. I still feel overwhelmed. But I’m learning to slow down. To be gentler with myself. To accept that this phase of life asks something different of me.

I know now that I will never be the person I was before motherhood — and that’s okay. I don’t need to be. I’m learning to appreciate who I am becoming. Someone who chooses rest more often. Who enjoys quiet evenings. Who understands that slowing down isn’t giving up, but growing into something new.

Motherhood changed me. It challenged me, softened me, and reshaped me in ways I never expected. And even though I sometimes miss my old life, I’m slowly learning to make peace with the new one.

Not perfect.
Not easy.
But honest.